of all

possible

worlds'

Its been so long, darlings, since I have been able to offer a full and indepth report on the situation in the Australian Left. I have (as you know) been so busy on the Mark Latham election campaign, and when that went belly-up, on the re-election of Bomber Beazley as Leader campaign. Its such a shame that Old Guts Gillard is such a spinster, it would've been nice to have a woman in power. I'm getting sick of thew boys at uni being so sexist all the time. Having a woman leader would stop all that for sure! Though I wouldn't like a leader like Maggie Thatcher. So perhaps its for the best that she didn't get in.

Thank you for calling the Australian Army.
I'm sorry, but all of our units are out, at the moment,
or are otherwise engaged.

Please leave a message with;
your country’s name,
name of organisation,
the region,
the specific crisis,
and a number at which we can get back to you.

As soon as we have sorted out;
Timor,
Iraq,
Afganistan,
Solomon Is,
Bougainville,
Cook Island,
patrolling the 'Top End'
the search for illegal immigrants
and intruders into our Economic Exclusion Zone,
cleaning up after cyclones,
helping Tsunami victims,
building memorials at Bali,
putting out bushfires,

Law won’t let us strike today
Strike today, strike today
Law won’t let us strike today
But we’re all coming down with the ‘flu, ‘flu, ‘flu
What else can we do, do, do?

We’re coming down with the ‘flu, ‘flu, ‘flu
Every last one of us of us of us
Coming down with the ‘flu ‘flu ‘flu
That terrible blue ‘flu
Pratima got the sack last week
Sack last week, sack last week
Pratima got the sack last week
And old Tom he did too, too, too

Howard’s laws went through, through, through
Yes Howard’s laws went through
Now Tom he is through too, too
‘Cause Howard’s laws went through

Bump Me Into Parliament

(tune: Yankee Doodle)

Come listen, all kind friends of mine
I want to move a motion,
To build an El Dorado here,
I've got a bonzer notion.

Chorus:
Bump me into Parliament,
Bounce me any way,
Bang me into Parliament,
On next election day.

Some very wealthy friends I know
Declare I am most clever
While some may talk for an hour or so
Why I can talk forever.

I know the Arbitration Act
As a sailor knows his 'riggins'
So if you want a small advance
I'll talk to Justice Higgins

This came thru the email today - a "Yes Men" hoax, or chilling reality? Whichever, this demonstrates the crappy attitudes that our controlling corporations have of us 'normal people'...

From: Halliburton Emergency Products Development Unit

Never let a good slogan...

go to waste...

"Read my lips; no new taxes." - Bush I

Probably a lie. Possibly a genuine mistake.

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman." - Clinton

Definitely a lie. About something that's none of our business.

"We do not torture." - Bush II

Hmm...